Ethan’s Coming of Age party Saturday Oct 3 2015

So Saturday my eldest son Ethan had his “Baha-Mitzfa” (no – that’s not a real word). That is to say – he celebrated with friends and family becoming an adult in the eyes of the Bahai community. This happens at age 15. It’s like a quinceanera only for both sexes.

It was just so wonderful to have Ethan’s friends over. Also present were my mom and my dear friend Chase foster and Ethan’s wonderful Baha’i friend Iman. Also my sisters showed up and my niece Tabby showed up but they were late because there were other things going on that day. Ethan’s friendships seem to run deep and they are very sweet people. I said a few words about his nature and the process of becoming an adult to those gathered, directing my talk mainly to Ethan’s friends. I talked about how Ethan is very intuitive and sensitive and told about how weeks before a surprise cancer diagnosis, Ethan told me he dreamed a huge vulture came down and grabbed his grandfather (mother’s side) by the shoulders and flew off into the horizon with him.

I also played a recording of Ethan telling me about a dream he had one night in November of 2011 which anticipates the coming of adolescence. Listen to it here – it’s really delightful. I asked the youth gathered “what do you think that frog means. Do you remember the name of the frog? Why would it have a name like that? What does it mean?” To her credit, one young lady shot her hand up and said “It’s called an Infrog and that means it’s like Ethan’s ‘inner frog’!” Quite right!! Very Exciting!! Then we discussed how, isn’t that what adolescence is like? Just like in the dream you are discovering your inner creatures and they are all different and unique? Isn’t it just like that how like in the dream, some of these young men and women will get “carried away” and become lost in their life or as if captivated and kidnapped by that process of discovery, while others wonderfully learn as if how to name their inner self and to call on it and to command it and bring it to bear in the world? Isn’t this dream wonderful and exciting, giving wisdom about what troubles to avoid and what wonderful discoveries and new powers to look forward to as you grow into adulthood? There is tons in this dream but the kids were surprised I think and enjoyed this insight that Ethan’s dream provided. It was also wonderful to hear his young voice again before “the change” came, deepening the sound of his speech.

Since so many of his non-Baha’i friends were there we decided he wouldn’t have any kind of Baha’i ceremony that day but save it for a more intimate occasion maybe this coming weekend at my sisters home.

Anyways I was really nervous about things going well on Ethan’s birthday party and I had a nightmare the night before. It was really important to me but everything just flowed really well and was really very effortless and filled with wonderful experiences and warm exchanges.


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